Homepage Newsletter ad
Subscribe now and listen to shows commercial-free
Already a member?
THE DENNIS MILLER SHOW
Call the show LIVE
Mon-Fri, Noon-3PM EST
866-509-RANT [7268]
Membership Ad
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot November 20, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
Man, there are some angry drivers out there. You know what my new greeting is to people? "Hi, get some help"... Liberals don't even want to know the "little people" they're saving. Liberal compassion consists of strutting around the room bragging about which of your chattel you're saving... Behind closed doors, the vast majority of liberals are Gruber... What Gruber meant to say is that John Roberts is too stupid... The New York Times is no longer the paper of record, it's just a building in New York that foreign acrobats climb... How clever - Democrats are using their huge screw ups as a distraction from their numerous smaller screw ups... Thanks to Obama, right now ISIS's biggest problem is what to name the new country when they finish taking territory... Honest Obama speech: walk to the podium, say "I've signed amnesty," give the finger, and walk off... And dot's dot, folks!
 
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot November 13, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
I had a Jewish friend who held a cannabris - they only smoked the tips of the marijuana leaves... You don't have to caricature Harry Reid to get at his essential badness... As Majority Leader, Harry Reid has consistently been the blockage in the renal canal of the legislative process... New ISIS kids' show: Sharia Lewis and Handchop... Board game idea: Consequential Pursuit, where the questions are all big, like "Who won the Second World War?"... The only time Obama offers you an olive branch is if he knows you go into anaphylactic shock from olives... Washington fought the Red Coats, Reagan fought the Red Menace, and Obama's fighting the Red States... Look at all the red on the map on election night. That red's paying for all that blue... And dot's dot, folks!
 
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot November 6, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
Julian Assange looks like Illya Kuryakin if he were the Dinty Moore guy... Ironically, the pants in Julian Assange's new clothing line are all button fly, which makes it hard to take a leak... North Korea's banned all tourism to stop Ebola. I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but why can't we be more like North Korea?... Tuesday was everything I hoped for and more... Sandy Fluke: blow it out your diaphragm - that I paid for... That Perdue guy went through Georgia like Sherman... Mary Landrieu is like a Hillary Clinton Mini-me... I flipped over to MSNBC after the election and they looked like they were on the dessert course at Jonestown... And dot's dot, folks!
 
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot October 30, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
If they put Wolf Blitzer in a turtleneck, he'd be Captain Nemo... I still care about the helpless, but I've stopped caring about the clueless... Liberals believe in complete cradle to the grave entitlement, it's just tough making it to the cradle with them... The only reason I came to New York is that I wanted to get my free temperature reading at Newark Airport... Nancy Snyderman obviously the leading contender to be the next Surgeon General... You can tell the Ebola situation is getting really bad - Obama cancelled a fundraiser... The civilized world needs to let the uncivilized world know that the hammer's gonna fall, or we're screwed... I was looking at my scoresheet, and if I can find an ISIS guy with Ebola, I've got End of the World Yahtzee... And dot's dot, folks!
 
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot October 23, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
Don't want to say we live in epochal times, but my TV just blurred during the news, refocused, and the local weather guy is now Dave Bowman... Someone should remake the "Thin Man" films with Ambien instead of cocktails... I'm not saying the economy's bad, but while I was out and about I saw William Devane selling oranges on the median strip... A new study shows that the climate is changing faster than liberals can make money off it... If Horace Greeley were alive today, he'd say "Go West, young man, and get a check"... There's a reason California's shaped like a Christmas stocking... Obama's not malevolent, he's just an inept civil servant. He's the guy working the toll booth who keeps giving back the wrong change... Don't look at me, I didn't vote for him... And dot's dot, folks!
 
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot October 16, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
I predict in Variety in the next 5 working days you'll read that "Sharkbola" has been greenlit... Should you panic about Ebola? No. Should you trust these government clowns when they tell you not to panic about Ebola? Also no... Try telling a global warming fanatic "don't panic" and watch how quickly they go nuts... We don't fix anything anymore. The fix is to tell people not to panic about the things we haven't fixed... Things are going "swimmingly" in America under Obama. Much like how "A Star Is Born" ended for Norman Maine... I can think of no one who represents modern liberalism more accurately than Big Eddie Schultz! #congratsbigman... It's not Andy Griffith Nation anymore, it's Barney Fife Nation... Don't look at me, I didn't vote for him... And dot's dot, folks!
 
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot October 9, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
Wasn't Bo Bergdahl the Hee Haw dog's name?... I'm hearing rumblings that Obama wants to put boots on the ground in China because they won't assist in the War on Global Warming... I know the White House isn't into it, but I would encourage them to establish a border around the White House... We spend all our time talking about ice and not enough time talking about ISIS... I guess I'm just going to have to trust that Obama and the Progressives know what they're doing here killing anything that moves... Nobody shoots his cuffs more after he's had his ass handed to him than Barack Obama... Reason the Marine's still in the Mexican jail is that this administration is not going to fight against any federal gun laws, even Mexico's... If Affleck were an actor in the Muslim world, he'd have an Oscar for a movie called "Good Will Decapitated"... And dot's dot, folks!
 
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot October 2, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
Ironically, the 49ers, due to Federal and State Income Taxes, only get to keep 48% of their salaries... Ala L'affaire Redskins, American ranch hands are now petitioning Jerry Jones and his team to stop using "Cowboys"... What'll eventually bring down Goodell is a Workplace Harassment Suit brought against him by a draft pick who feels he takes the hug too far... The NFL's eating itself alive and the amuse bouche was hiring Goodell. As they pursue perfect, they're not even getting things right anymore... Goodell is Obama-brilliant... Obama needs to replace Holder with someone even more blindly allegiant who will sacrifice his ethics for his boss. Gotta be Goodell, right?... Don't fret, you'll next hear from Eric Holder on Jan. 19, 2017 when he expedites the final day pardon of Mumia Abu-Jamal. #frauncestavern... I know laxity is the new coin of the realm, but I think it would be best to not treat this virus like a fence jumper at the White House... And dot's dot, folks!
 
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot September 25, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
I'm working on an internet store that sells only brick and mortar... The only way Obama will declare war on ISIS is if he discovers they use unleaded instead of biofuel in their truck bombs... Pumping up the Syrian rebels is akin to giving the 3 Stooges a ball-peen hammer... It's the upside down arc of voting "Present" in the Illinois State Legislature and then "Not Present" in the Oval Office that rubs people the wrong way... When Obama shoots from the hip, all it does is show us how hipless he is... Me thinking that Obama stinks at his job is not the reason Obama stinks at his job... The world looks at the US as "Churchillian." Sadly, Ward, not Winston... If 2016 turns out to be Hillary vs. Christie, let's skip the debates and just pit them in a hot dog eating contest... And dot's dot, folks!
 
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot September 18, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
Maybe Dan Snyder is as slow on the uptake as they say he is. Shocked he didn't Castle and pick up Michael Sam up off the waiver wire... I find Goodell very presidential... The Trivago guy has now creeped me to the point that I can't watch Dr. Zhivago anymore... The Prez is very self-assured. Cups and saucers in the debris field between his promises and what he's delivered are in eerie alignment... As his fans jump ship, the contrarian in me dictates I now say Barack Obama is the single greatest president we've ever had. #yeahright... Just heard audio of the Prez at Stonehenge telling it to "slow down a little" and free itself up from "RockBlock." #29hrdruidworkweek... Obama will soon be sending out "save the date" cards to ISIS to let them know when the air strikes are coming... People ask "how can you even imagine Joe Biden as President?". I can't imagine a BS'er like him working anyplace else... And dot's dot, folks!
 
SEARCH:  
 
 
DMZ
 
 
 
TWITTER
DENNIS
ChristianDMZ
 
Available at a great price - While they last!
Available at a great price - While they last!
Available at a great price - While they last!
Available at a great price - While they last!
 
Popular Topics
2012 2012 Elections Annotated Miller Bathrobe Sessions Comedy Dennis on Fox Dennis's Oprah's Book Club Elections Featured Caller Friend of the Show GOP Primary Michael Yon Mitt Romney Movies Music Newt Gingrich NFL Obama Obamacare Rants Rich Eisen SNL TV Upcoming Appearances Videos
Copyright © 2014 Dial Global, Inc. All rights reserved.
Terms & Conditions  |  Privacy Policy
Powered by Nox Solutions LLC.